A Tale in Four Fits

Buying a new house is always more than just buying a new house. Once you move everything into the space, you realize that some things you accumulated better fit the 10 rentals you lived in previously. You also realize that stuff is overwhelming. As a result, I have put myself through several "stages of adjustment," eerily similar to the "stages of mourning" I might add, since acquiring my new townhouse.

In the first place, it absolutely unforgivable to watch Home and Garden television while you are in the process of purchasing or moving into a new home, especially as a first-time homebuyer. I do not have cable, but a week before moving I dog-sat for a dear friend who does have cable. She has the Home and Garden channel, she has the Style network, she has TLC....need I say more? Anticipating what my new home might be rather than what it is created a sense of discontent. Putting my furniture into that space only made the discontent worse as I realized that my home and my things lack the cohesion and consistency touted on decorating shows. Does the blue pseudo-Chinese vase purchased at the junk store for $1.00 really fit with the cottage-style seersucker sofa in khaki and sage? The dilemma only worsened.

From anticipation to discontent, one moves quickly into guilt. Er...at least I did...it's a kind of fall-back mechanism from my Scottish Presbyterian roots. Not a bad thing in its place, not entirely helpful either. In this case the guilt over the fact that I owned a home and a bunch of stuff when I should be an itinerant forever -- because isn't it more spiritual to be able to tote all your belongings in a car...or better yet, not even own a car, but tote all your belongings on your back -- resulted in a furious purge. I took a large box of useless knick-knacks from junk stores, clothes I never wore, and items that I liked but didn't need to the Salvation Army. So, even though my motive -- penance -- was wrong, the result was right. I did not need the $1.00 blue pseudo-Chinese vase OR the wrought iron bird cage with one missing leg.

The only way to explain the next stage is that it is probably entirely peculiar to my own personality. I live my life in fits. I grade huge stacks of papers in one night as a result of a fit of responsibility. I bought the house in a series of fits. Fit the First: look at the house. Buy the house within less than a month. Fit the Second: pack in one day. Fit the Third: move in one day. How can I explain Fit the Fourth except that it was a bright Columbus Day morning, and I did not have to be at school. So, why not rip out the carpet?

Ripping out the carpeting was not really the best way to satisfy my desire to feel settled in my surroundings, so in order to compensate, I hung pictures. Now I am living in a partially furnished townhome, with cement flooring in the living room, and no immediate funds to purchase the new flooring. I have come full circle, in a way. I have a DIY project, and very little funds to do it, and am beginning the process of reevaluating my belongings to see what I can use in which spaces.......much like a Home and Garden television show. Arg!